Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Agents.

I was asked the other day what I thought about literary agents, and I didn't answer honestly. And then I proceeded to analyze my not-so-straight answer for the next two days. I hate it when I do that. And I do it all the time. Yes, folks...I'm completely over-analytical. Welcome to the world of Brooke Moss' flaws. I eat too much, and tend to have an extremely low BS threshold, as well.



Okay, so getting back to my opinion on literary agents...and I hope the aspiring author who asked me this (I won't name her, because in case an agent ever reads this blogpost--which I doubt--I don't want my words to inhibit that agent's feelings towards the author. You're welcome, girl.) reads this blog post. Because maybe my words will give her something to consider. Another perspective that she may not have thought about before. If not...she can print it off, and use it for toilet paper. That's always an option, too.



So here's the deal: When I first decided to try to get published I wanted a literary agent with the desperation that a meth head wants their next fix. (How's that for analogies?) Once I'd completed my book and polished it to perfection, that was the next natural step. Right?......R-right? That's what all responsible authors needed in order to be contracted by a Big 6 publisher, correct? Well, now, I have to say that I know several authors who are pubbed by Big 6's without agents, but overall...there is a potential to make more money and get better contracts if you have a professional doing the negotiating. So I...like most authors...sought representation.



And I got rejected.

A lot. A whole stinkin' lot.

So then I changed my focus. I decided to try to get pubbed without the aid of an agent...and within a couple of months, I'd been contracted for my debut novel, The What If Guy. Once the book came out, and was met with good reviews, I decided that I would once again try to score an agent to represent my second book, The Carny. After all, I was a published author. Who wouldn't want to represent me now, right? .......R-right? Anyone?



Anyone still here?

That's what I thought. And yes, you're right. I was rejected. A whole stinkin' lot. Only this time--because I was a published author with decent reviews--I was getting rejected after agents read my second manuscript. I was no longer being rejected straight out the gate, I was being rejected after these people (or their minions) were actually reading my work! Ouch. Because I'd been telling myself for years that if I could just get an agent (or their minions) to actually read my work, to savor my words and envelop themselves in my characters, then of course they would sign a contract with me. How could they not? My characters were wildly creative entities. And every review I've ever gotten has commented on how character driven my books are....so it was all in the characters, wasn't it?

Nope. The agents still didn't want to sign me. And now they weren't giving me the simple, impersonal rejection letters. They were giving me cold, callused rejections that insulted my story...then frosted the insults with, "But every story is subjective. What I didn't enjoy might pique the interest of another agent, so I encourage you to keep submitting." Um...bullsh**.



Wait, wha...?

I know that books are subjective, and that a book that is embraced by millions might be hated by millions as well. I know that one man's moldy soup might be another man's filet mignon. I read 2-3 books a week. I get it. But when you hear those words from an agent after they said that my story fell flat, my characters were undeveloped, my plot line was uninteresting, and my concept was far-fetched......

Well, let's just say I stopped listening.

Now, it's not like I stopped trying to fine tune my craft! Quite the opposite, actually. I am a constant work in progress. Everything I write could be better. Everything I create could use more effort and skill.  I will never be perfect....and the moment I decide my writing IS perfect...is the moment that I may as well quit and become a podiatrist. True story.



So then I wrote a book that was in a new genre. Fantasy YA?? From Brooke Moss? What the what? So  not anything I was used to writing...and once it was finished, I had to have an agent to help me sell it. Right?......R-right? So I did it all over again. I went to conferences, I queried agents, I sent partials and fulls to agents all over LA and NYC.......and I prayed (PRAYED HARD) that the agents who'd told me my book sounded like a "goldmine" or like my book "would be a big hit" would contract me and *finally* help me make some money off of these books I was cranking out.....

(By then I had 3 published books through Indie Publishers....so I was actually getting pretty good at selling books on my own, but still....the lure of the agent is strong.)

And frankly...I wanted to make some money.



In the beginning, authors just want to get their books out there. They would be willing to sleep with troll or sell their children to the highest bidder, if it meant having actual people read their actual books with actual covers and actual pages.

Don't lie. We all know it's true.

But once you get a few books down the road, you tend to look around at all of the reviews and blogs and comments on your Facebook page, and you wonder...where the heck is all my money? No joke. Granted, I've made some money off of my creations, but after my husband added up all of my royalties checks--factoring in labor, office supplies, internet, electricity (I didn't write my friggin' books by candlelight, mind you), reims of paper, and the occasional take-out dinner because "mommy was busy editing" (again)......the truth of the matter was, I'd only been making around $0.76 cents an hour.

Yes, that's right. I'm the published author of (soon to be) 5 books, and I make a sweatshop wage.



Hmmmmmmm......

So what do you think happened after all of those agents who'd been clambering all over themselves to read Underwater finished reading the manuscript?

Nothing. Not a d*mn thing happened. Well, that's a lie...one of them rejected me, citing that my storyline was starting to get saturated on the market, and she was scared to take it on. (I couldn't get mad about that reaction. It was honest, at least. She didn't question whether or not I was in the right business. That was a nice change.) But the others? All the others?



Nothing. I heard nothing. I heard crickets chirping, that's what I heard. It's been over a year, and I heard nothing. I've long since sold the book (on my own, thankyouverymuch) and now it's got a cover and a release date and everything! Those agents in question (or their minions) said nothing. Not a rejection. Not an email. Not a tweet. Nothing. High and dry........I've now been reduced to an author who isn't even worth an insulting email. How pathetic does one have to be to not warrant a simple yes or no answer from an agent? Pretty pathetic if you ask me. *THUD* (Head on desk) *THUD* (Repeat)

So that's when I decided that having a literary agent probably isn't for me.

Now.....I want you all to know that Literary Agents really do serve a purpose. They do. When authors are so big, and successful, that they can't handle the volume of work that major contracts requires, or the amount if publicity and attention that they're getting...then I absolutely see the need for agents. But, in my limited experience (Please pay attention to that. I've had 5 books published with 3 different Indie Publishers--so I have no experience with Big 6 Publishers or with popularity so huge that I require assistance.) I don't see the need for an agent. I've sold 5 books alone. And I've managed to do it without pulling out (all of) my hair. I'm not entirely sure that an agent would have been able to do anything better than that.....



Except make me more money. (But I'll describe my solution to that conundrum later.)

All in all...I think that Literary Agents are a dying breed. Much like these big guys:



I know, I know....you're all cringing right now. And I can't say that I blame you. But I have to be honest. It's one of my best/worst qualities. I am constantly being brutally honest with people and ticking them off. I've had (old) crit partners cry because they felt like my criticisms of their manuscripts were too harsh. (Granted, I've cried a time or two myself, so what goes around comes around, if you know what I'm sayin...) I've had friendships break up because they didn't appreciate my calls-it-how-she-sees-it attitude. My darling husband is constantly telling me that I could have toned down my "keeping it real" mentality. And right now I'm breaking the unspoken rule amongst authors....

I'm daring to say it: Literary Agents are (mostly) unnecessary and useless, and I think that eventually they'll (almost) all be without a job. 




(Oh, man...if I ever hit the big time, no agents will be contacting me to represent my work, that's for sure. Well, maybe....but first off, I don't know that I'll ever hit the big time. We'll see. But really? I doubt it. And second...if they do come knocking on my door, Imma gonna have a lot of 'splaining to do.)

Okay, okay, relax. Don't UNfollow my blog. I won't implicate any of you, I promise. These are just MY feelings. And MY opinion doesn't have much to do with anything about anything. Mmmm, kay? But here's why I feel this way:



1.) If I can do what they do (though admittedly not on the same caliber, mind you) then why do I need them to do it for me?

You may find that you feel the same way, or you may wind up feeling like you want the help, need the help, and can't live without the help an agent might provide......if that's the case, then go forth my friend. Good luck to you.

I, on the other hand, don't think I need the help. Some authors might feel like they want to obtain an agent, so that they can hold out for the big contract with a {insert the Hallelujah Chorus here} Big 6 publisher, and if that's the case, then having an agent might be the route for you. Though remember, I know some authors who have navigated the big 6 without one. So it's whatever you decide.

I've decided I don't need one. I've had three different Indie Publisher experiences, and while some have been good and some have been (*urp*) wretched...I've put books out there in the world, and I've built up a small but lovely readership. And I did it without help. So there. (Yeah, I stuck my tongue out.)



2.) I have a very hard time respecting individuals who hold themselves in such high regard.

Now you're really sweating it, huh? (Oh, crap, if I keep reading Brooke Mosses blog, an agent will somehow magically find out and refuse to work with me...and then I'll never be able to publish in this business again!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO.) Well, let me explain...

I've met a couple of agents who were so nice...if I'd met them under any other circumstance other than pouring my heart and soul out to them and asking them to like me, to really like me {insert Sally Field's voice here}...then I would have become friends with them. After all, agents are people, too. And I can't imagine how much work these people have on their plate all the time. They're busy! They're swamped! They're overextended!

But some of them are also incredibly rude little liar liar pants on fire(s). (Ducks head) I've gotten form rejection emails within three seconds of sending the original query that said, "While your premise sounds interesting, I regret that I have to pass." Um.....liar, liar, pants on fire. You DIDN'T READ IT. Just admit it. You DIDN'T F***ING READ IT. Ugh! Just admit it.

I've also gotten rejections that were so nice and complimentary that I wanted to email them back and THANK them for their rejections. They wrapped their rejection in this fluffy, warm blanket that was so flowery and sparkly that I forgot for a second that they were crushing my hopes and dreams into tiny, strawberry scented smithereens. 




I've gotten rejections that were so filled with insults, so vile, and so pompous that I wanted to drive to that person's house, ring the doorbell, punch them in the throat when they opened the door (***This is added for humorous purposes. If you're taking notes and planning to physically assault an agent, then you'll likely go to jail, and probably deserve it. Be smart. Take this as a joke. Mmm, kay?) , then walk past them as they sputtered and coughed, so that I could point at their children and call them ugly, fat, and stupid. And in all honesty, there have been some agents that I've met face to face that have acted like being punched would probably be the best thing that would ever happen to them.

Please note that I am aware of THIS: Agent gets attacked by rejected author and while I may be running my mouth about the harshness, cold-heartedness, and general lack of conscious or courtesy many literary agents practice.....I, in no way, condone violence. 

So....I'm adding an addendum to my original blog...instead of knocking on the door and punching the literary agent in the throat, how about you just knock on the door, tell him or her that they deserve to work for minimum wage at Burger King for the rest of their life, THEN push past them as they sputter and cough (because nobody wants to be told that they're banished to BK forever) and make fun of their children. 

Because here's the deal, sure...punching someone might make you feel better, but Lit Agents aren't the kind of stupid people that we find on the Maury Povitch or Jerry Springer shows. They aren't just going to take being punched lightly, then proclaim their love for their first cousin. They're gonna sue you. So it's better to keep your hands to yourself. Like I always tell my kids, "If you can't SAY it, without using your hands and feet, then it's probably something you shouldn't be saying anyway."

So there. 

Now back to my rant, d*mmit.

Some people need a reality check to knock them off of their pedestal. I've met Literary Agents via email and in person who fit that bill. They're entirely too enamored with the words that come out of their mouth, and with the power they hold. People like that suck. 'Nuff said.

And then there are the ignorers...

Oh, these people are the worst in the bunch. I would almost rather get insulted and looked down upon by a martini wielding snob at a conference happy hour than have an agent ram their head so far up my butt I'm walking strangely for a week...and then never hear from them again. I have one agent, who shall remain nameless, who promised me mucho success, told me that she and I were destined for greatness together, and then promised to read my manuscript quickly, then get back to me with her thoughts and plans to take over the world. We got along like long lost BFF's, and practically planned matching tattoo's during our time together, and for once I felt like I was doing the right thing by pursuing an agent! How could I have gone this far without one? Without HER? I left that pitching sesh feeling pretty darn good about myself. I was walking on air, you know...

I never heard back from her. Not an email. Not a tweet. Not even a fart in my general direction.



Those people are the worst. Listen up, agents out there: I may be small time. My name may not rhyme with Hefanie Flyer or Hay Jay Vowling...but I write kick ass books. They're emotional and funny. They're realistic and charming. They make people laugh and cry at the same time. You don't believe me? Ask my loyal readers, d*mmit. And I realize that you live in the big city, and that you always have a latte in one hand instead of a dirty diaper like me. And I realize that you wear 200$ dresses to work every day, and I am wearing a pair of cut off sweats with a tee shirt that says I gotta have more cowbell, baby...but I'm a helluva writer, and the fact that you can't see that just means you're throwing away an opportunity to make money. Don't ever assume that I'm not worth a simple email that says "Thanks, but I'll pass", because I am worth it. And my fellow authors are worth it. And you...my overconfident, self serving friend....are not worth US.

*Panting* Rant over.

And of course....

3.) The publishing business, as a whole, is changing. Even since I started in this game, which has only been five or six years. When I started, self publishing was something that authors did only when they couldn't get published otherwise. (Don't curse my name--I speak the truth!) Nowadays, authors self pub whether they are good, bad, mediocre, PHENOMENAL, or somewhere in between. They self pub because they're tired of the games, tired of the rejection, tired of their books getting shifted and altered and forgotten, tired of being lied to by people in the biz, tired of being told what they have to change in order to make it lighter-fluffier-heavier-grittier-or somewhere in between, and generally just tired of not making any freaking money.



I think that within a few years (I'm gonna say 10, but you can throw any number in--it's a free country) the need for Literary Agents will be reduced to only very, very few left, for just the biggest and most famous authors. Most of them will be forced to find new jobs...jobs in which they'll be as vulnerable and hopeful as we (authors) have had to be for the whole of our careers. And for the most part, I think it will be a fair and righteous adjustment for (most) of the former agents to have to make.

I simply don't think that (most) Literary Agents will be around forever. I'm sorry. I know it's harsh. But so is telling me that my writing skills are lacking and my query letter sounded obtuse.



So there's my whole, long, drawn out explanation for why I don't have an agent, and why I don't really believe that authors need one. I think that the pursuit of an agent is a soul-sucking, emotionally trying, confidence crumbling experience that's unnecessary only because agents do a service for authors that...

Wait for it....

We can do for ourselves.



And with that.....I bid you farewell. Until tomorrow, when I ramble on about something else.

P.S. Follow my blog on the right sidebar >>>>>>>>
You might win a copy of Meggan Connors' latest release, JESSIE'S WAR. Woot, woot!







Monday, January 28, 2013

Wheezy.

Remember the character, Wheezy, in Toy Story 2? The little squeaky penguin that Woody tried to save? Maybe you don't watch Disney movies as often as I do, but....



Yes, that's him.

Yeah. That's who I sound like right now. I've got a cold, and my wheezing is keeping me awake at night. Literally. It sounds like I have a harmonica lodged in my throat. And so flip and flop around in my bed, panicking because I know I won't get enough sleep.

Fortunately, my loving husband bought me ibuprofen and Starbucks hot cocoa this morning. He loves me. Even when I sound like a harmonica.



Hey, don't forget to follow my blog on the sidebar over here >>>>>>>>>>>>

You'll be entered to WIN a FREE copy of Meggan Connors' latest release, JESSIE'S WAR...which is amazing. You all know that all ready, don't you?

Friday, January 25, 2013

Cover and blurb reveal......finally!

Guess what I have for you all? Yup, yup, yup. A cover, release date, and blurb for my romantic women's fiction, Keeping Secrets in Seattle.






"Seattle hairstylist Violet Murphy always knew the day would come when her best friend Gabe Parker would want to settle down. She’d secretly wished it would be with her, but now that he’s chosen someone else—the prim, perfect Alycia—he wants Vi to be his best man.

Healing her broken heart isn’t easy, but when Violet meets Landon Harlow, a man who isn’t fazed by her funky style and less-than-delicate attitude, she takes a step in the right direction. Until Gabe’s fiancé’s gorgeous façade begins to crack, and Violet’s disturbing past comes back to haunt her, that is. Vi now finds herself armed with a series of lies that would break Gabe’s heart—and his engagement—if he knew their truth, and a secret from their childhood that could change everything.

With the wedding looming, her relationships unraveling, and the bachelor party of the century to plan, Violet must choose between a fresh start with Landon, or confronting her painful past and risking it all for a chance at a future with Gabe."

Coming to a bookseller near you on February 18th!

P.S. Can't wait to read Keeping Secrets in Seattle? Grab Meggan Connors' latest release, JESSIE'S WAR to tide you over.....you can thank me later! :)

Welcome Meggan Connors!

Hip, hip, hooray! Today's the day for the awesome giveaway of Meggan Connors' latest release, Jessie's War! Such an amazing book, such a romantic story line, such unique and lovely characters. I love this book. I love, love, love this book! And I'm so stoked to share it with all of you.....

Let's get down to business, shall we?


1.) Hi Meggan, welcome to the Brooke Moss blog. Why don't you tell us all about yourself and how you came to be an author....

Hi Brooke! Thanks for having me today!

So, how did I become an author? To this day, I’m not really sure.

I guess it all started in June of 2009. I had to small kids, and a stressful job, and I guess I just needed an escape—something that was mine, where I could just be someone else, be somewhere else. I’d always toyed with one day writing the great American novel, but I never thought I could. One day, I woke up and thought to myself: “Hey, I think I’m going to write a romance novel.” And (seriously, it went like this) that’s precisely what I did.

But then the question arose: what are you going to do with this little jewel?

I decided then that I was going to pursue publication. I found RWA online, and soon discovered that everything I’d done in my book was wrong. Oh, so very, very wrong.

But it was a start. I started entering contests, and finaled in about half of the ones I entered. Won a couple. And eventually, a small publishing house asked to see my work. The rest, as they say, is history.


2.) Okay, I've already read Jessie's War, and I am a Jessie & Luke disciple because of it. Why don't you share the blurb for this wonderful book, & then tell us where the inspiration for the story came from.

Okey doke. Here you go!



She's about to become a pawn in a brutal game between nations...

The American Civil War has raged for more than ten years. The outcast daughter of a famous inventor, Jessica White has struggled to salvage what little remains of her life. Then, one cold winter night, the lover she'd given up for dead returns, claiming the Union Army bought the plans for her father's last invention. But he's not the only one who lays claim to the device, for the Confederacy wants the invention as well. Both sides will kill to have it.

...And only he can save her.

As an agent for the Union Army, Luke Bradshaw is a man who will use whomever and whatever is at his disposal in order to complete his mission. An attack by Confederate soldiers ensures that Jessie will turn to him for help, but Luke can't help but wonder about the secrets she keeps--and if those secrets will ultimately prove fatal.

I suppose it was just a matter of time before I wound up writing a steampunk. After all, I write paranormal and I write historicals. I love my Victorians. One day, I was looking at a map of the mines beneath Virginia City, and I thought, “What a good place for a mad scientist!”

And thus, Jessie’s War was born.

3.) So, the truth of the matter is, Luke is hella sexy. Tell us about your inspiration for the character.

Husband likes to say it’s him!



In all seriousness, though, I think it was Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I can’t even tell you how hot I think he was in it.

So I guess if you crossed Butch Cassidy with Jason Bourne (or Jeremy Renner from The Bourne Legacy), you’ve got Luke. He’s tortured. He’s tough. He’s got a lot of baggage, but he’s got both the skills and the tools to get his girl out of a difficult situation.

4.) What kind of music did you find yourself listening to while writing Jessie's War?

It started out with a lot of Mumford and Sons. Lots and lots of banjos. But then I started listening to Wintersleep’s Dead Letter and the Infinite Yes. If you read the book, you’ll see why. Here’s a link to the song on You-tube.

5.) What authors do you really enjoy reading? Name three of your favorite books...

Well, there’s this really great YA coming out in February by Brooke Moss... :)

But three of my favorite books?

1.     Trinity, by Leon Uris. That book blew my mind years ago, and I’ve re-read it several times since. I’m not a crier by nature, and I bawled like a baby at the end. Set at the time of the Irish Revolution, it follows a young rebel Irish Catholic, and the Protestant girl who follows him. Amazing book.
2.     Pillar of the Earth by Ken Follett. This book was beautifully written. There was the love story there (fascinating how what is essentially a romance written by a man doesn’t get labeled as such), which was lovely, but it was the period detail that swept me off my feet. An exquisite book, it basically follows the building of a Gothic church in 12th century England. It’s a miniseries now, but, for what it’s worth, the book is worth reading.
3.     The Dark Highlander by Karen Marie Moning. Highlanders. Sex. Time Travel. Magic. Sex. Oh, yeah. Can I say that I felt super literary after reading it? No. But it was a great read, and a good time. And what more can you ask for?

6.) I've got a lot of aspiring writers that follow my blog. Any advice for future authors out there?

Write. Read. Write some more. Be aware of your limits, but also, don’t be afraid to try something new. Write across genres, if that appeals. Write something completely out of your comfort zone. Enter contests. Get a critique partner.



And don’t be afraid. This business is not for the faint of heart. Sure, you’ll be scared when you first start querying, or when you first send off your work for the first time to your critique partner, but it’s all worth it.

7.) What's next for you? What are you working on right now?

Right now, I’m working on a story I’m tentatively calling Highland Deception. I’m not the fastest writer in the world, but it seems to be going nicely. It’s about a wanted man who assumes his brother’s position as laird upon his brother’s death—and the wife his brother didn’t want.

8.) Okay, enough of the heavy...let's have some fun. Tell us where you'd live, if you could live anywhere in the world...

Overall? Prague, Czech Republic. Hands down the most beautiful city in the world. Right now, because it’s 19 degrees and hasn’t gotten above 32 for three days? Tahiti.

This is not Prague. This is Tahiti. Not cold at all.


So. Cold. So. Freaking. Cold.

9.) Favorite writing snack...

Chocolate. Isn’t everybody’s? Oh, and coffee. I like coffee a lot.

10.) Favorite holiday...

Halloween. There aren’t a whole lot of days a year that an adult can dress up as a cowboy or a gothic vampire slayer and not be detained as a crazy person.

11.) If you could be any star, who would it be, and why?

This question is so much more interesting if you asked what star would I be with. Because that’s Jeremy Renner.



Um, could I just be the starlet who’s dating Jeremy Renner? That would be amaze-balls.

12.) Tell us one thing that very few people know about you. Surprise us!

How about this? I’ll tell you a story. And it’s true, too.

So, as you know, I’ve lost some weight recently. My clothes don’t fit, but some of them are so cute I’m reluctant to give them away. They fit well enough, right? Just put a fitted shirt with an overly large courdoroy skirt, slap on some nylons, and we’re good.

So the other day, I was in my child’s Kindergarten room, just chatting with his teacher. As I left the room, I went to pull down my sweater, which felt like it was riding up. (It was) As my hand slid down my rear end, I noticed something was missing.

My skirt had slipped down to almost below my butt. I didn’t know it, because, well, I was wearing nylons. What felt covered.... really wasn’t. Most of my rear was exposed. (Yes, I was wearing underpants. I’ve had enough wardrobe malfunctions that going commando is out of the question. I won’t make that mistake. Again)

I took sagging to a new level.

Today, I decided it was time to get some new pants. I mean, just in case.

Thanks for having me, Brooke! It’s been fun! 


Meggan Connors' blog: www.megganconnors.com




Buy from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Jessies-War-ebook/dp/B00B02RNTI/

Buy from Barnes and Noble:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jessies-war-meggan-connors/1114121181?ean=2940015955385

Buy from All Romance E-Books:
https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-jessie039swar-1041398-153.html

Buy From Musa Publishing:
http://musapublishing.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=6&products_id=530#.UPJO7qX-D8s


FOLLOW MY BLOG ON THE SIDEBAR TO THE RIGHT TO BE ENTERED TO WIN A FREE eCOPY OF JESSIE'S WAR!!! I'll pick a winner in ONE WEEK!!! (Friday, Feb 1st) Thanks a million! xxoo

Thursday, January 24, 2013

I'm thankful for...



Yup. I've got a chest cold. And now I am spending time with my love...NyQuil.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

My mom rules.

During a rousing game of Getting To Know You, in which everyone was taking the questions very seriously, offering answers like "Abraham Lincoln" or "God" or whatever....

This is my mother's reply to the question: If you could trade places with any one person in the world, alive or dead, for one day, who would it be and why?



"Denzel Washington's wife."

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahaha. I love my mother. She's got a point.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Guess what's coming this Friday?

Squeeeeee!!!! So excited. Can you tell?



My CP, Meggan Connors, just released an amazing steampunk that rocked my entire existence, and still rocks it to this day. She's going to do an interview on my blog & give away a copy of her most excellent book, JESSIE'S WAR!

Woot, woot! Super stoked!

Stay tuned, peeps.......

Monday, January 21, 2013

MLK day.

I come from a family with a few different races included. This makes me happy, because I think one race in a family is boring. My family is beautiful, funny, busy, diverse, and wonderfully original. I wouldn't want it any other way.



I hope everyone can take a few minutes to thank Dr. Martin Luther King for his sacrifices. Without equality, my gorgeous family wouldn't be possible. And that would be a darn shame.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Blog crashed? Ain't nobody got time for that!

This is how I feel about my blog crashing......



Do you hear me, Blogger? You d*mn well better.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Rebuilding my blog.

Okay, so it's been 24 hours since my website and blog crashed, and I lost everything. 



Devastating.

As I work to rebuild my readership, I realized this morning that I not only lost all of my previous blog posts (which were in the thousands), I also lost my comment from Johnny Iuzzini. Yes, peeps. This upset me more than everything else.



As a chubby housewife from the 'burbs, I really enjoyed my fan-girl moment when Johnny commented on my blogpost devoted to his deliciousness. So sad. If you're out there, Johnny.....drop me another comment. Give a fan a break, man...I'm so sad, and no amount of macaroons will comfort me.

You know what else I lost in the big blog crash of '13? All of my funny meme's. SHAMEFUL. So I've devoted today's post to rebuilding my meme collection. I've decided to dedicate today's meme lineup to Top Chef, since last night's episode had me gnashing my teeth and swearing. Here goes nothing:







Wednesday, January 16, 2013

In case you missed it....

I got my final cover for UNDERWATER yesterday! Woot, woot!



It's so lovely, I could die. True story.

I can't wait to share it with all of you. Click on the Underwater link above to read a little more about it....

Let's try this again....

I came home today to discover that Blogger had deleted my website. My entire website.



Not good. Not good at all.

Thousands of posts, hundreds of pictures, and over a hundred and fifty followers....POOF! Gone in the blink of an eye.

But I refuse to give up! I will not stand for this!! I am back, and I am filled with vengeance!



So click "Follow" on my right sidebar, to follow my blog, and help me build my readership. You'll get in on giveaways, contests, interviews, funny musings, and book recommendations. Lest we not forget the man candy I occasionally post. Hello.

Welcome back, everyone.