Monday, April 9, 2018

I'm moving home soon.

And I'm pretty much ready to pee my pants about it.

It's been a very long three years in South Korea, and while this experience has afforded us some amazing experiences, I am really, really ready to get back to my home country.

I want to go into a grocery store and easily find the foods I want and can easily cook with.

I want to understand what is being said to me and about me.

I want to befriend foreigners who live near me, help them however I can, and show them the love and compassion that was (and sometimes wasn't) shown to me.

I want to no longer be surrounded by sexist pigs who, while living in a very modern country, still behave like it's 1957, and that my place is at home, raising brilliant children, and agreeing with everything a neanderthal with a penis says. Yes, Korean men, I'm talking about 'choo.

I want to go back to church and be surrounded by a large crowd of fellow humans who believe the same things as me, and will support and sustain me.

I want to see movies with no subtitles. In fact, I don't think I'll EVER watch another subtitled movie again. Sorry, film industry.

I don't want to live amongst expats who consider themselves worldly, more sophisticated, and wiser than the average bear. ('re not. You're a hot mess like the rest of us, except you have more stamps in your stupid passports.)

I want to take my dogs to a dog park, or better yet, a YARD, and let them run around off leash.

I want to be able to smile at people my dogs unknowingly bark or growl at and be able to effectively explain that they're not rabid. They're just blind and deaf and stupid, but harmless.

I want to be able to go into a doctors office and ask for help, and effectively articulate what is wrong, what I've tried already, what doesn't work, what my health history is, and what my needs are... and not be told to see a psychologist. (Korean doctors don't like to be questioned. If you ask too many questions, they refer you to a psychologist.)

Literally not kidding.

I want to go to the beach and swim with other people who aren't afraid of the sun.

I want to go camping and get dirty in the woods.

I want to go back to working in the lunchroom at my kid's old school. I freaking loved that job.

I want to live in an American apartment with a pool and grass outside, instead of cement and no pools because Koreans are afraid of water (in addition to sun.)

I want to buy a real hamburger that hasn't been fancied up to the point of ridiculousness.

I want to be surrounded by normal, average, middle class people who aren't utterly dripping in pretentiousness.

I am so excited to go home. It's been a long three years.