Friday, April 7, 2017

Things I do that annoy people.

I wish I could say I'm not remotely annoying, but even as I type that, I'm wincing because it's such a massive lie.

I am very, very annoying.

When I was a kid (the youngest of three, the unexpected, and sort of unwanted kid sister...) I was crazy annoying. Most of the time my presence alone annoyed my brothers, but as I got older, I learned to find tune it. I lived to annoy my brothers. I wish I could put my thumb on what I did to annoy them on the daily, but I can't. I screamed. I tantrumed. I yelled. I cried. I sucked my thumb for an unnaturally long time.  I annoyed them. I was good at it.

Now that I am an adult, I would say I annoy my husband by nagging. He takes it in stride. Rarely complains. And (for the most part) obeys when I nag. I think that despite how much it clearly annoys him, he just goes with it, because where my shortcoming is nagging, his shortcoming is follow-through and execution, so together we make one solid, on-task human. So it's a win/win.

My hand.................and his hand.

(My husband are the perfect partnership. Guess it's a good thing he's my favorite person ever.)

As far as the rest of the world goes...I would have to say my Facebook page annoys a lot of people. Which always makes me wonder why in the world they're my Facebook friends, when I so clearly annoy the crap out of them. But hey, that's their issue, not mine.

But I do annoy them. I'm silly. And rarely serious. About 80% of my posts are humorous, though many folks don't realize it, so they're always offering advice or reprimanding me for things I was snickering over as I wrote. Other times I am serious with a side of 100% transparency. This is when I usually trigger folks to remind me that I don't need to share everything, and that it's okay for me not to talk about which I usually respond with this:

I also take a lot of selfies. I can't help it. My hair changes every two months, and I love makeup like a fifth child, of course I'm always taking pictures. Besides, I'm usually taking pictures of my food and my children. If I don't turn the camera on myself once in a while, I'll never be in pictures! So there you go: I'm pretty sure my selfies annoy people on social media. Especially my teenagers. Which is partially why I take so darn many....

I also think my need to make the bed every day is annoying. Oh, and my habit of buying chocolate bubble tea (it's a Korean thing) and then drinking three sips, then pawning it off on my kids. Oh, and my need to watch every episode of the Real Housewives of....well, anywhere, and then discuss it at length with anyone who will listen (usually either my mother, or myself) as if I have any authority in these women's lives at all. Oh, and super sonic sense of smell when it comes to the scent of urine--I can smell urine in the apartment across the street from our building. I swear I can. I can smell urine anywhere. And then I proceed to complain about it. For hours.

Because pee is gross. Duh.

My laugh is also annoying. It's a weird hybrid of these three people's laughs:

Not so lovely. I know. Even I'm embarrassed. My family actively avoids making me laugh in public. And who can blame them? My mom says I've laughed this way my whole life. Can you imagine a baby with a laugh like that? Ugh.

What is most annoying about you?