Saturday, April 9, 2016

Ramblings from a bald author.

As many of you know, I have alopecia. This is a new thing for me, even though I've lost my hair before. I just foolishly assumed it was an isolated incident. But now that I'm going through it again, I've accepted it. I have hair loss. It runs in the family, so I sort of had it coming. And sucks. But it could be worse. I could be sick. But I'm not. I'm just....bald-ish.

Losing my hair (this time) has been emotional. I feel like less of a woman, less attractive, and generally just cranky and put out by the inconvenience this alopecia thing has caused. My husband is very supportive. That crazy man loves me no matter what I look like. I adore him for that. But, as all women know, the people who are most hard on women are usually women. Most of the time I'm hard on myself. Other times it's other women who cause strife, but mostly it's just me. People say stupid, inconsiderate things because they don't know better. 

I just say stupid, inconsiderate things because I'm a jerk to myself sometimes.

I had someone tell me the other day that they thought I needed to stop being so open on social media and my website about my struggles. Struggles with grief, weight loss, hair loss, etc. She felt like because my words make her uncomfortable, they must make everyone else uncomfortable. That may be true. Though I do know that through my transparency online, I've found friends that I can share the grief of the loss of our daughter with, I've met friends who can understand my pursuit of health and WLS, and I've met friends who, like me, woke up one day and discovered that God had decided they needed to be bald. 

I really like my friends. It's nice to go through life's rough patches with people who know what it feels like. Plus...if my words touch someone else, then they aren't a waste. Good grief, if I've done nothing else with my life, touching the heart of another human is good enough for me!

I'm starting to accept that I may need to wear wigs forever. Or maybe once we're done with this expat experience, and I am finally able to get my stress management under control, I won't lose anymore patches. Whatever. Either way, I'll be fine. Summers will be hot, and wigs will be expensive. Such is my lot in life. Like I said, it could be worse. I could be sick. My husband could be sick. One of my children could be sick. I'm golden. I'll take my life, bald spots and all.

I'm so glad that each of you, my awesome reader friends, are going on this journey with me. Through each of my books, my grief, my expat're all there with me, and for that my life is permanently impacted. What an awesome blessing this internet thingy is, isn't it? It's so incredible to be able to log on and whine about my bald patches and find 5 or 6 other women who have the same worries. Sometimes my immediate friends and family cannot help. They want to, but they can't, and I am so lucky to have each of you to whine to about it!

How many of you are as excited as I am that my 15 month stint with writer's block is over? 

Me, too.

So, so, sooooo excited.

I think you'll like Jude and Amy.