Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Another day, another excerpt....

Another day, another excerpt.... 

"Paula shot John a warning glare. “What he meant was… your mother made unhealthy choices. She lost her rights as a parent, and now you’re living with our family. We want to adopt you.”

My skin tightened and I backed towards the door. My fingernails scraped on the door behind me as I scrambled for the handle. “I need to go. Where is my iPod?”

“Calm down, Posey. We’ll get it for you.” John looked over his shoulder. 
“Micah, will you please look for Posey’s iPod?”

Micah obeyed, hopping up and looking under the couch cushions. Paula smiled kindly at me. “We don’t want to discourage you from communicating with your mother if you want to, Posey. We just don’t want it to upset you this badly.”

“What do you care?” I barked, ducking my head to hide behind my hair. “I’m not a Coulter.”

“But we would like you to be,” John said. “Very much.”

I looked at them through the dark strands. “No, you don’t.”

Paula’s eyes filled, and she squeezed my hands. “Yes, Posey. We do. But only if you want it, too.”

I wanted it, but didn’t. I wanted Paula and John to love me the way they loved all their other kids, but I also wanted my real mom to love me. What the hell was wrong with me? I was flip flopping like a damned schizophrenic. 

My eyes went from Paula’s face to her husband’s, then back again. They looked at me with so much pity, their gazes pleading with me for approval. Love us. Join us. We’ll be even more picturesque if you do. We’ll wear matching sweaters and start a family band.

“You don’t want me.” When I spoke, my voice shook. I was so close to crying, “Not really. Nobody does. My own damn mom didn’t want me. Why the hell would you want me?”

“Oh, Posey…” Paula covered her mouth, and she started to cry. “We do, sweetie. So much. Come here.” 

When she reached out to hug me, I twisted away. “No. Stop. I… I don’t like it.”

“Found it!” Micah called from the corner of the room where Cooper sat.

Thank goodness, I thought, wiping sweat off my brow.

“Let us be your family.” Paula wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. “Please, Posey, we won’t let you down. We’re here for you.”

Micah wriggled between his parents. His face was somber. “I, uh, Coop was sitting on it. I’m so sorry.”

I took my iPod and my stomach dropped like lead. The screen was shattered. Split into pieces and spider webbed. “Oh shit, no…” I moaned. “No, no, no.”

John ran a hand through his light brown hair. “Posey, I’m sorry. We’ll replace it. I promise.”

I wasn’t stupid. The Coulters couldn’t afford to replace it. John used an iPhone so old it only held a charge for half an hour. Anger sizzled in my gut, singeing my insides and shoving my sadness to the side to make its way to the surface.
“Leave me alone, would you!?” I yelled, making Paula jump. “You losers have no idea how much I just want you to get the hell out of my life and leave me alone! Do you hear me? Leave me the hell alone! All of you!”

I yanked open the door and charged off into the darkness. The wind blew faster than ever, whipping me in the face with icy fingers as I sprinted to the beach. Mutiny Bay, behind the rocks where Drew and I hung out. I wanted peace. I wanted quiet. I wanted to close my eyes and be anywhere else than on the island.

As I rounded the curve towards the beach, I stumbled, ramming my knee into the edge of a boulder and splitting the skin. Cradling my wound, I limped down to the sand and unleashed every cuss word I’d ever heard, and even made up a few more. I screamed until I was hoarse. I screamed until I couldn’t see straight. I screamed until…

Until I heard Drew calling my name."

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