I always feel weird celebrating St. Patrick's Day. I mean, it's almost like it should be called "Celebrate Our Heritage By Dressing Like a Moron and Drinking To D*mned Much". And since I don't drink...or often wear green...I'm left in the dust by all of the other Irish partiers.
Then I get a glimpse of my pasty white, freckled skin...and I am reminded that I am, in fact, partly Irish, and that not all Irish people are lushes.
Even if they're genetically predisposed to it.